I still get angry when I think of my accident at work, the prednisone I was on too long, and the out of control weight gain that followed. I get angry at how much my body changed and how quickly. It’s not that keeping my weight “normal” was every easy… I worked out a lot and ate very well most of the time… but I never thought I’d be in a place where those things wouldn’t work. Before this year even started, I had grown tired of going weeks and week eating well and exercising daily only to see the scale stay the same or worse… go up. I’ve spent the bulk of this year in a place of “What’s the point in trying?”
I’m not sure what possessed me to step on the scale last week. I knew that the number would not be one I wanted to see, but I didn’t expect it to be so high! The highest I have ever weighed. UGH! I’m fat. Yep, I said fat. I’m not going to sugarcoat it with fancy words to make myself feel better. I’m not going to try to convince you I’m healthier than a skinny person just because I usually eat well and exercise. Whether you want to call it overweight or big-boned or fluffy, the truth is that I weigh enough to make more than two of healthy me and a body isn’t meant to function like this.
I didn’t wait until the next day. That moment, as I stared at that awful number on the scale, was the moment I got my fire back. That’s the moment I recommitted to losing this weight and not giving up hope that I will. That’s the moment I returned to healthy eating and fitness. Even with the things already in the house, I was able to put together smart meals. I stopped taking “parent tax” from Xander’s Halloween candy. When we went grocery shopping this week, I bypassed the junk we’d started to eat so much of and made a conscious decision to get my family in on the healthy plan too.
I’ve lost five pounds this week. No expensive diet plans. No pricey pills. I’m just watching the portions, filling up on the veggies, drinking water instead of soda, and keeping active. I can do this. I have to do this. I will do this.